I'm in one of those spots
Watsky just released a new song called Talking To Myself, and it somehow describes exactly how I'm feeling today, and how I've been feeling recently. I've felt so many things. I recently got a girlfriend, a little over a month after my boyfriend and I broke. She and I have been friends forever and there are many concerns I have about it, but she makes me smile and laugh and I feel happy around her, but I don't know if that's enough. I'm not sure how my best friends feels towards me. She answers my texts with one word answers. I'm pretty sure she's just sick of my complaining and my anxiety. Which, coincidentally, is the main factor in the ending of most of my most valuable friendships and relationships. I don't really know what to do. If I try to explain this to her, I'll just be whining more, and she'll be frustrated with how anxious I am about it. I know one day she'll move on, she'll move away and marry her boyfriend and we'll promise each other to always be best friends but I know she's meant to have an incredible future and I don't think I'm part of that. I don't want to bother my other friends either. They're incredible, and they don't deserve to have to deal with my burdens as well. I love them too much. I don't want them to feel any of this. And I hate that every time I text them it's about something bad, but if my news is good it sounds like bragging. I don't know what to do. Where to go. Who to talk to. I need a therapist, but I doubt that would happen anytime soon. So, instead I spend every day alone lying in bed, feeling unsatisfied with my life. I know there are things I could be doing, but why? I don't want to sound melodramatic. I don't feel melodramatic. I feel complacent. Which is much worse. What am I supposed to do now? All I want is to spend time with people I love, but that feels so selfish. I'm sick of burdening the people I love. -Margo "Do you ever get lost, deep in your thoughts, tripping when you think about the cost of seeing this through? When you tie your stomach into knots that you don’t know how to undo." -Watsky
4 Comments
Clementine
10/1/2016 10:54:58 pm
"You're off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, So…get on your way!"
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Ladyrain
1/5/2017 10:09:43 am
all the bright places
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I'm not sure
9/17/2017 06:17:26 pm
That book messed me up i found this site while i was looking for the quote by cesare pavese on the great manifesto, because i wanted to start a blog called the great manifesto because that’s what i’m in search of, but that was taken by you, i’m glad it was because your site is delightful, so i went with my backup, but i wanted to say that you are very at what you do and i’m sad you haven’t posted in a year... thanks.
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