I know this is like my fourth fucking post of the day but no ones even reading this so i guess it doesn't matter. I'm just so fucking pissed and I'm crying and I can barely even see the keyboard. I don't even know what to do anymore. I del like everything has been ripped away from me, like my hopes were torn from my white knuckled hands and I don't know what to hold on to now. I know how stupid and ridiculous it is to feel this way about someone I was never even with but I can't fucking help how bad it hurts. I'm sick to my stomach and it feels like my gut is being ripped from my body. I was so fucking stupid, it's all my goddamn fault! I let myself believe! I let myself be fooled by his charm and his fucking smile and I let him play with me like I was play thing he could drop when a better option came along. And I fucking let him do it!!!!! I let myself be worth nothing just so he could take me with no consequences and I'm just such a fucking idiot!! Why do I keep letting myself be so disappointed whenever I believe in anything, for even a moment. I can feel myself reverting to the person I was with my ex-best friend and I hate that me but this just hurts so much. I can't let myself hurt, I can't let him affect me if he never even thinks about me. Now I know how Neal feels about Kate. It's impossible to let go when you still have that last shred of useless, irrelevant, misplaced hope.
~Margo
2 Comments
Roan
1/7/2019 09:25:04 am
Hey! :) I've been reading your posts since 2016. I just got a bit busy with life and whatnot. I suddenly remembered your blog. So, how are you doing?
Reply
Margo
1/10/2019 09:32:17 pm
Hey there! Thanks for reading, I know it's mostly hunks of garbage lol. I hope your life was the good kind of busy not the bad kind! I'm doing surprisingly okay, all things considered. Thanks for asking (and for caring). Margo xx
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
MargoMy name isn't Margo. Archives
December 2019
Categories |