If I could only listen to one classical piece of music for the rest of my life, it would be Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. It makes me feel like I'm riding in the car on a cold winter day when no snow has fallen, but rain is pouring down, just lightly enough for me to see through the trees. I can see the fog of my breathe against the frosted glass beside me, and I can feel the cold seeping through and freezing my flesh while warming my bones. I'm on my was to something devastating and exciting, leaving a version of me in the past, spread out across the chilly, rocky concrete. I have many regrets but they are irrelevant and fail to sting like vomit in my stomach. My fingers are numb, as well as my nose and myself. It feels good. It feels disturbingly right.
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December 2019
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